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Welcome to CerebralCease. We provide products to the public that they realize they need after they buy them!
Do you remember the last time you had a hangover? Remember the feeling of embarrassment, shame, and regret? Okay, so maybe you peed in your girlfriend's ice trays and microwaved an 18 pack of grade A's. But you don't have to worry about knocking up your lady friend thanks to the alcohol consumed the night before! And ladies, no need to get a pregnancy test to see if that stranger you shacked up with the night before slipped one past the goalie.
My vodka isn’t big on taste nor is it extremely fancy. What my vodka brings to the table is a sense of freedom. The freedom one feels when consuming my vodka comes from the comforting fact that my vodka doubles as a bi-gender contraceptive. Inside each bottle of vodka is a healthy dose of estrogen and progestin; just enough to interfere with the reproduction process. For the males it confuses the hell out of the sperm and for the women it causes changes in the cervical mucus and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus. There will be two versions of the vodka; one for each gender. The male version will be shot with an extra kicker of testosterone to maintain his much desired sex drive. So when you take a shot of Singleton Vodka it’s just like slipping on a condom or taking a morning after pill. It’s the “Night Before” vodka!
Welcome to CerebralCease. We provide products to the public that they realize they need after they buy them!
Do you remember the last time you had a hangover? Remember the feeling of embarrassment, shame, and regret? Okay, so maybe you peed in your girlfriend's ice trays and microwaved an 18 pack of grade A's. But you don't have to worry about knocking up your lady friend thanks to the alcohol consumed the night before! And ladies, no need to get a pregnancy test to see if that stranger you shacked up with the night before slipped one past the goalie.
My vodka isn’t big on taste nor is it extremely fancy. What my vodka brings to the table is a sense of freedom. The freedom one feels when consuming my vodka comes from the comforting fact that my vodka doubles as a bi-gender contraceptive. Inside each bottle of vodka is a healthy dose of estrogen and progestin; just enough to interfere with the reproduction process. For the males it confuses the hell out of the sperm and for the women it causes changes in the cervical mucus and uterine lining, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus and harder for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus. There will be two versions of the vodka; one for each gender. The male version will be shot with an extra kicker of testosterone to maintain his much desired sex drive. So when you take a shot of Singleton Vodka it’s just like slipping on a condom or taking a morning after pill. It’s the “Night Before” vodka!
2 comments:
"For sellers, direct marketing is a powerful tool for building customer relationships." Armstrong & Kotler, Ch14 - P.416
This article is great and very unique! Certainly not something you read every day. I think a great way to market your vodka through your desired marketplaces is through word of mouth, beginning with those "hidden" salespeople in clubs, bars, etc, spreading the word and unique gospel you have to offer.
I love the concept of the vodka, not sure if it's doable, let alone safe, but the concept of it is genius. Since I'm pretty sure a vodka can't be a protection from pregnancy, you can still use that concept to sell the Vodka as a joke. For example, come up with fake ads saying this vodka is better than using a condom, then at the end of the ad state that this ad is totally false and that it doesn't really prevent pregnancy, but it's still a great vodka type of thing. Humor is always a great way to market a product and you have a great concept for a really fun marketing campaign to use to sell vodka.
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